If you’ve arrived at this post, I’m guessing you have goals you want to achieve.
Maybe you are struggling to achieve your goals – and you’re desperate to make them happen. Or maybe you’re just curious about whether you fit into one of the categories of people who struggle. Or maybe you have another reason for reading this?
Wherever you sit, please know that I want you to achieve your goals.
There are four different types of behaviours that cause people to fail with their goals. And most people in these categories don’t know why they’re struggling.
So in this post, I’m going to share with you the four common types of people that really struggle to achieve their goals.
If you are suffering from any of these, it’s highly likely you’ve been struggling with your goals (and/or wondering why your goals aren’t making your happy like you thought they would).
If you fit into one of these four camps, don’t worry. Before I learned what I teach in my blog, I was in all four!
If you are engaging in any of these four types of behaviours, then you need to know why you have been struggling to achieve your goals.
And you need to know what to do to turn things around so you can achieve your goals.
Otherwise you’ll continue to struggle. I don’t want that. (And I know you don’t want that.)
In other posts in my blog, I’ll share more on what you need to know + do to actually start achieving your goals.
<Take a deep breath>
You may be about to discover something that makes a bunch of your life make sense. (It sure did with me when I got it for myself.)
The 4 Goal Failure Profiles
The Good Student
The Good Student has goals they are working on, but they are creating based on what they think they should be creating – or what they’ve been taught to value or want or do.
This often happens because they have never been taught to think in terms of what truly matters to them.
Typically it’s not until they start noticing that they aren’t taking action on those things, or they’re struggling with motivation or follow through, that they have the opportunity to pause and reflect on why they aren’t working towards it.
If you are a Good Student and your goals are more about you’ve learned to value or want or create, then it’s worth examining the fact that your goal isn’t really important to you. You’re simply doing what you’re told, but it isn’t really true for you.
If it was, you would simply do it without being pulled back in another direction.
It’s time to pause and work out what really is important to you. You may discover that you still value some of the same things. Others you may need to let go of because they are actually the values of others.
Shortly I am going to be writing a post on how to work out what matters to you. Subscribe below to receive it straight to your inbox.
The Identity Crisis
If you are part of this group, you might find this one a bit of a tough pill to swallow. (I know, because been there!) But learning how to swallow it, so you can adjust your orientation so you can achieve your goals is so worth the pain of self-recognition!
Like all other profiles, the Identity Crisis has goals, but their goals are more about fulfilling their sense of identity or ideal self.
If your goal is more about fulfilling your identity, then the goal isn’t what’s important to you: your identity is. Your goal is simply a way of fulfilling your identity issues.
The issue you have is the way you see your life. You see your life as a performance with an audience. Maybe the audience for the performance is others, or maybe it’s yourself. But either way, you’re driven to perform. To prove. Get better. Or demonstrate your greatness.
If you suffer from this one, it’s important that you uncover what you really think about yourself that you are using your goals to try to cover up.
Once you can disconnect your beliefs about yourself from your creations, you’ll be free to create things that have nothing to do with having to hide from yourself, and are in fact, about what you truly care about.
If you want some help working through this, send me an email to book a free Strategy Session, where we can work out a plan for how to support you to reorient the way you see, and do your life.
The Problem Solver
For the ‘Problem Solvers’, their desire and motivation to create is not about the outcome, but more about problem-solving things they perceive to be wrong.
If your goals are born out of trying to solve a problem (including fixing your feelings – a common favourite among problem solvers), your orientation isn’t one of creating.
You (like all of us) may have many problems in your life, many of which may not be the best use of your time, energy or focus to try to solve.
There are many great things you can create with your life that would make your life enjoyable and exciting if you take your focus off thinking you need to spend it solving problems.
The way you unconsciously look at your life (or the things in your life) is as a series of problems to resolve to improve your life, rather than an opportunity to create things that matter to you.
The trick for you, is going to be to learn about what really matters to you, beyond your problems. Shortly I am going to be writing a post on how to work out what matters to you. Subscribe below to receive it straight to your inbox.
Now, this last group – the Manipulators – are not as malicious as they might sound. While narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths fit into this category, so too do many super nice, wonderful people.
What distinguishes the Manipulator is that they want other people to either think certain things about them, and/or do something they want them to do.
To do this, they behave in ways they think will get them that result.
The result can be approval, love, attention, or recognition. It can also be tangible things like money, career promotion. Or any other reward dependant on the agreement or approval of others.
Typically this group are likely to also be driven by an identity crisis.
I’ll be writing a post shortly on how to let go of being a people pleaser (without turning into an asshole).
Subscribe below to have it arrive in your inbox.
So, what do you do with this?
As I mentioned above, if you spotted yourself in any of these, none of these make you wrong, or bad.
What they make you is very human.
They simply prevent you from achieving your goals and creating what matters to you.
If you would like to learn how to actually achieve your goals + create what matters to you, this post is about what you need to know to do just that.
If you recognise yourself in any of the above profiles, and can see which might be getting in the way of you achieving your goals, send me a message and let me know what’s going on for you. Let’s see if we can solve it together.
Big love to you + your success!
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