My best friend said to me last week, that championing a new and unconventional conversation is going to get me slammed in the face. A LOT.
When I told her that I was going to start talking about this, one of my mentors said the same thing.
‘When you start talking about reality, people are NOT going to like it,’ she warned.
But people being able to create what matters to them REEEALLY matters to me.
And you can’t create what matters to you if you are not free.
It’s why I’m starting this conversation, and why I’m going to fight for it.
Because exploring ‘freedom as a value’ is a life-changing enquiry. With far-reaching impacts.
It crosses sooooo many more different areas of our lives – and our society – than we might initially see. Including relationships, mental health, emotional health, depression and suicide.
If people understood freedom as a value, sooooo much would become available that isn’t currently available to them.
So despite the fact that I reeeeeally don’t like being slammed in the face, I’m going to keep talking about it and fighting for it.
To be clear, I’m not going to be punching back to those who want me to be wrong – and want to tell me how I am.
Because the only reason I’d need to punch back is if I didn’t value their freedom.
Their freedom to disagree. Their freedom to try to ‘educate’ me on why I’m wrong. And the ‘correct’ way I should be looking at things.
Their freedom to have opinions about me and my marriage.
And their freedom to not explore whether they value other’s freedom – or their own.
But I do.
If those arguing are doing so because they are truly exploring freedom, and they simply need their questions answered and their concerns alleviated to truly understand the conversation, that’s one thing.
But the intention of learning, and the intention of hitting out, or trying to ‘educate’ me on how I’m ‘wrong’, are two very different things.
So, while it momentarily stings to open my computer to find people spewing opinions and anger at me through the screen, I have my vision clear on why I’m starting this conversation.
I have my band-aids at the ready.
And my best friend on speed dial for when I need reminding that the confronted are always loud and vocal.
And to save my time and sanity, so I can focus on what really matters, I’ve made a promise to myself to entirely look past the ‘feedback’ of those whose comments show they’ve either not read the post at all – or have entirely missed the point. (The post was NOT about sex or monogamy, people!!)
You don’t have to like me – or agree with me. But I’m going to fight for your freedom – and your ability to create what matters to you – all the same.
Big love to you + your freedom.
P.S. On the flip side, I’ve already received a number of phone calls and messages from people sharing how my post on freedom has impacted them. How they’ve been bravely exploring ‘freedom as a value’ for themselves.
These people have realised that, without realising it, they have been trying to control, manipulate and change their partners, children, colleagues – and their choices, emotions and behaviour.
And how since realising they do value their freedom, all of a sudden, they’ve stopped trying to change them, and are okay with letting them be who they are, and do what they do. Even if they don’t agree or like their behaviour or choices.
It’s very cool to see people substituting their previous concepts and ideals for values.
How fucking freeing for everyone involved.
(Thank you so much to everyone who has shared their stories. It makes fighting that much easier knowing it’s being met by others who are actually getting the point. xo)