1. I am the mother of two wonderful daughters. Miss T and Miss Moo. Miss Moo, our youngest, has profound intellectual + physical disabilities as the result of a genetic mutation to her STXBP1 gene. She is part of a family of children worldwide with this completely random gene deletion. This has been a big journey for us, and one I’ll refer to from time to time. Like in this post on how she’s taught me to be grateful for my body. Both our girls are wonderful joys in our lives.
2. I am happily married to and co-creating life with a super-awesome guy, Nick. I met him online when I was 22 (Best. Decision. Ever). I will no doubt be writing about and referring to him on the blog. So here’s his cute face….
3. I hate titles. I struggle to put myself in a ‘box’. My clients refer to me as all kinds of things. ‘Spiritual mentor’, ‘life counsellor’, ‘marriage guru’, ‘life coach’, ‘business mentor’. These titles help others contextualise my work, so I’m fine with it. I think of myself as a ‘freedom fighter’, ‘creation coach’ + ‘spiritual mentor’.
4. We have a small dog called Max. He’s a super smart 7/8 miniature poodle (with a 1/8 terrier personality when people come to the door). The rest of the time, he’s the sweetest, naughtiest, harmless teddy-bear who is our big girl’s constant companion.
5. While I love working with women, I really enjoy working with guys. There is something really special about guys asking for help on things they are struggling with.
6. I swear in front of my kids. I didn’t start out doing it, but after reading a blog post written by a woman who decided to give up caring about swearing in front of her kids, I realised she was speaking straight into my heart. It’s not for everyone, and that’s okay, but it’s true for me. 🙂
7. Having clients get back together with their partners are some of my proudest things to be involved in. Since I was really young, relationships are somehow something I’ve always seemed to have friends gravitate to talking about and asking advice on. The questions male friends were always the most interesting…Their questions gave me massive insights into how the male brain works and how to understand men. Their insecurities, the way they think and feel… and their utter confusion around the weird shit that us girls do and say. I have since come to understand the reason they came to me. I could translate for them. I can explain subtext to men in a way they get.
9. I love travelling. I run my business in a way that allows me to travel as much as possible to wonderful places.
10. My favourite U.S. city is Las Vegas. One of my biggest values is fun – and Sin City certainly is that! My favourite place in the world: the Portugese coast.
11. When I’m not writing my blog, you can usually find me either working with clients, hanging out with friends, ‘date nighting’ with Hubby, hanging out with my kids and family. If I’m not there, I’m likely to be in the bath with a glass of champagne and my latest trashy read or home decor magazine or in my courtyard pulling weeds.
12. I was born in Auckland, and have lived there my whole life – apart from two years spent in Europe and England when we moved there when I was 10. While I spend lots of time travelling, I don’t think I’ll ever live anywhere else.
13. The most moving thing I have done in my life is run a spiritual funeral for the twins of clients/friends of mine whose angels were born still at 8 months. I do not have words for the emotions I experienced, the experience or for my gratitude to them for allowing me to be part of such a special, sacred moment in their lives.
14. Fire engines are one of my lucky charms. When I was at University, a friend from a small town who had moved to Auckland commented on how he would see at least one fire engine a day in the city. Since then, whenever I see a fire engine, it makes me smile.
15. A place I want to go: Santorini.
16. While I make a point about never having regrets (I believe everything always happens for a reason), one thing the little girl in me has never gotten over is breaking the heart of a lovely boy I went out with for 18 months at university. I adored him. But I also didn’t have the courage to be honest to myself that I knew he wasn’t the one for me. Cheating on him broke both our hearts – and even though I know it was my unconscious way of forcing me to tell the truth, and to set me on the right path, I still hate that I did it. I like to think it makes me better at understanding people and clients who have done things they’ve regretted. I take great comfort in knowing he’s married and super happy with a fabulous girl who adores the pants off him.
17. Learning about Structural Dynamics is the most profound thing I’ve ever had the fortune of falling into discovering. The way it has changed my life, my thinking, and my work – and the lives of my clients far surpasses anything I ever knew. I thank my lucky stars for the day I was given a book that started me on that journey.
18. I have co-authored three books on Soulful Relationships, Conscious Business and a book called the Inspiration Bible, a collection of inspiring stories by amazing people who have been through crazy shit in their lives and come out the other side to tell the tale.
19. Despite working as a coach for nearly 15 years, it’s not where my career began. I went to university to study law and accounting. I aced my first year at Law School, but after reading ‘Think & Grow Rich’, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ and several other self-help books, I knew I wanted to help people live better lives. So I quit law school, and finished my Bachelors degree in Commerce, majoring in Management with a focus on interpersonal relations and psychology.
20. I have an unconventional view on fertility. My experience is that many more women can get pregnant than the ‘medical fertility model’ suggests is possible. I believe that some souls push through their parents ‘stuff’ while others on a different path ‘wait’ for the parents/mother to resolve essential emotional, mental, and spiritual blocks before they come through.
21. I used to eat dead flies when I was a baby. I would crawl around the house, munching up the little dead ones I’d come across in the summer – with Mum trying desperately to get to them before I’d get to them.
22. In 2011, I was diagnosed with the worst case of depression my GP has ever seen. Five weeks after starting a cognitive-behavioural therapy group, with the Maternal Mental Health Service, they recognised I was not ‘on par’ with the others and discharged me as they decided my ‘depression’ was not because of me being the postnatally distressed mother of a newborn, but rather being the depressed mother of a seriously disabled newborn. They referred me to a public service psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with a condition similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), gave me a script for stronger pills, wished me luck and sent me on my way. Six years later, life looks very different for me than it did back then, but my experience has resulted in me becoming a passionate advocate for transforming the way the New Zealand system supports children with disabilities different abilities and their parents.
23. I don’t believe in depression.
24. The work I enjoy most is: Running seminars; doing Personal one-on-one Coaching with people who are hungry to grow, learn, evolve; and working people with a public profile. I love working with them, because I feel for how much they are just like regular people, but with the world watching their every move, reaction, outfit, facial expression makes their dealing with the ‘stuff’ of regular life and bad days all the more challenging. And especially those who have public profile before they are old, evolved or wise enough to have a solid footing for who they are.
25. I used to be a Year 8 teacher at an Intermediate school on Auckland’s North Shore and then a private school. I trained as a teacher, because at 20, I felt too young and inexperienced to be taken seriously, so spent the first part of my career working with teens.
26. At 25 years old, I started my own Youth Leadership Development school for teens and working with Police Youth Aid re-orienting kids who were getting on the wrong side of the law.
27. My favourite chocolate is Cadbury Black Forest. I love chocolate, but except for my friend Rach’s chocolate cake, I don’t do cake. (Her cake is so good, I’m going to post the recipe up here soon!)
28. I am Reiki-trained to Level 2. I trained because I was jealous of my spiritual healing peers who could ‘feel energy’ with their hands. After my training I opted not to practice, because I struggled with sensing more about a person from their energy field than I was allowed by the Reiki creed to share with them. So I gave it up in preference for spiritual counselling and development work.
29. I never believed in spirits, ‘The Universe’, God or angelic beings of any kind. Although I did cry at church for no reason one day when a friend took me with her when I was 17. It weirded me out. When I was 23, I met a woman with a PhD in BioChemistry who was a research doctor at the university, but left to pursue a full-time career in spiritual healing and metaphysics. She transformed my openness to there being more to life than we can see.
30. My nana is my first-born’s guardian angel. She would sit in the armchair watching over our newborn as she slept. Five times over the first six months I came into the morning and find the side-lamp on (we knew we hadn’t turned it on). Twice I had left neatly folded piles of washing on the chair, and came in to find them on the floor.
31. When I was 26 I was about to change my name after hearing a repeated name being called out in my head. Seeking the advice of a numerologist friend of mine, he advised me that my name already means ‘the Bridge between Heaven and Earth’ and so to not change it, unless I had different plans for my life. Five years later, I finally came to understand that the name that had been repeatedly spoken is one of my spirit guides. Duh!
31. I am a hapless romantic. Between the ages of 14-16, I met and fell in love with three different boys on overseas holidays with my family. One was a young tennis coach at the resort we stayed in in Bali who I kissed in the tennis shed.
32. The achievements I am most proud of:
- Surviving the first few years of Mylee’s life – and coming out of it a stronger, more positive person (despite being a squillion times more vulnerable and emotional)
- Having the courage to share my curriculum in public, despite being initially terrified of public speaking;
- Helping a couple with an infant daughter whose relationship had broken down resolve their issues and go on to get married and have two other children together;
- Getting over commitment issues that plagued my 20’s – and go on to be happily married with two gorgeous kids;
- Helping a male client with a stressful work and family life to gain the connection with himself, his dreams, and his family – change his life and come off anti-depressants;
- Being a mum – but more importantly, a mum who works her butt off to be the best I can be – even when it means having to admit semi-regular failure on the motherhood journey!
There are so many more things I could share with you…. and probably will. But they will have to wait for another day.