There is nothing more frustrating than struggling to achieve your goals and not knowing what to do to make it happen.
Faced with this struggle and the confusion that often accompanies it, we tend to just try stuff and hope it will stick.
It’s painful to engage in. And it can be pretty painful to watch talented people do too.
But with clarity over what you need to be focusing on (and just as importantly, the many things to not bother with), it’s much easier to get on with making progress. And stop wasting time, energy and tears over things that don’t work.
In this post I am going to share with you 8 things that if you’re struggling to achieve your goals, you need to NOT be doing. Because if you are doing any of these, you need to stop wasting your time and energy NOW.
And because I care about you achieving your goals, I’m also going to share with you what you do need to focus on to get yourself on the right track.
Cool. Let’s kick into it….
The 8 Things People Do (+Need to Stop Doing) When Struggling with their Goals
If you are struggling with your goals, you may well recognise some of these behaviours.
So please know that none of these are criticisms. They don’t make you wrong or bad or stupid.
And what they tell us is that you don’t know any other way.
These behaviours actually make sense.
However, they are typically ineffective, so we want you to stop doing these and get on with doing what actually works instead. If you are doing these, please stop, and learn what you need to be focusing on instead!
Here are the 8 common, but ineffective things people do when struggling with their goals….
#1. Sitting around waiting and hoping
Maybe the reason you’re doing this is that you’ve not been taught how to achieve this goal before, and you don’t know how.
Or maybe you’ve been taught that visualising your goal is important, but you’re not sure what else to do beyond that.
Maybe you think you have to give up something you like (chocolate, anyone?) and don’t want to give up. Or something you have to do to reach your goal that you don’t want to do that, so you’re feeling a pull between two things you want?
Either way, waiting and hoping is not going to do it for you.
If you are doing this, chances are, you don’t know how to achieve your goals. If so, I wrote this for you.
#2. Putting lots of time and effort in trying, (often including coming up with new ideas and strategies as each one fails, sometimes including changing of direction) hoping something will work, yet not making any real progress
Oh, I so know this one myself! It’s incredibly frustrating!
This happens a lot with people who are trying desperately to achieve their career and business goals. (Many are also engaging in #4, #5, #7 and #8 as well!)
Chances are, you don’t know how to achieve your goal. And this behaviour makes perfect sense when you don’t know what to do.
Following or copying other people who’ve done it makes perfect sense. Except, if it doesn’t work, please understand there is a reason for that.
And it’s also very possible you’ve got something else that may be very subconscious to you pulling you in the opposite direction. We call this ‘structural conflict’. (I’ll share more on this soon. Please pop back later, or subscribe to have posts on this sent direct to you.)
#3. Distracting themselves from working on their goal, + trying to make themselves feel better with immediate gratification activities that sabotage their other goals
This can include eating, drinking, socialising and partying.
It’s likely if you are doing this, that you don’t know how to achieve your goals.
That’s no problem. Here is a post on how to achieve your goals + create what matters to you.
#4. Distracting themselves from working on the goal and trying to make themselves feel better with what feels like more productive, positive activities (often while also not admitting to themselves that they’re not making any real progress towards their goal)
This list includes things like:
- goal reviewing
- personal, spiritual and/or business development courses
- hiring of new mentors
While this is a slightly more healthy version of #3, it’s possibly more frustrating, because given you’ve chosen a more healthy course of action, your assumption is that surely this should be helping you and/or your goals.
Except that you notice that it doesn’t. And then you’re left feeling really lost.
While a ton of these activities are often promoted and thought of as helpful, they are often also used as distractions from the actions you should be taking if you only knew what those were.
Chances are, just like with #3, you don’t know what to focus on to achieve your goals. To learn what to focus on, read this post.
#5. Focusing on what others are doing + listening to others success stories in the hope of finding ‘the answer’ to their own success
Ooooooooo… This is danger zone.
And yet, in our social media frenzied world, it’s so easy to do!
#6. Talking to best friends, significant others, etc, who don’t know how best to help, but offer support and the best advice they can think of
Okay. Let me be clear. There is nothing inherently wrong about talking to people about your goals and your struggles.
While it can help a little bit, but it doesn’t often lead to an effective result.
But, it’s also worlds better than hiding it from everyone, which is #7, which I’m also dead against.
But if the option is between learning what you should be focusing on to achieve your goals and talking to people about your struggle, pretty please, pick the first one.
Once you know what to focus on, you won’t need to talk to anyone about your struggles, except to pass the time of day and to chat about what you’re up to.
#7. Hiding their struggle from everyone
This is a super-common one for people who want to seem a particular way to other people – or to themselves.
They think that struggling implies weakness – or that it risks people not wanting to be involved with them.
But it’s also dangerous to your goals and the time you have left on the planet to achieve what truly matters to you.
Chances are if you are doing this, you are trying to work it all out yourself, while in all likelihood, mindfucking yourself over how to get over the struggle. This isn’t a helpful strategy.
What is a helpful strategy is to learn what you should be focusing on to achieve your goals.
#8. Hoping to get ‘discovered’ by Oprah, Ellen, or their top industry magazines/news stations
This is a big one with solopreneurs, coaches, trainers, and artists who have a belief that the only way to succeed in their career is to be discovered.
They haven’t been able to create the success they want themselves yet, so part of their strategy (and vision board if they are new-age/spiritually inclined) is to have being ‘discovered’ be their way of getting the exposure they feel they need to hit the big time.
It’s a dangerous and high-risk strategy.
Because chances are slim that you’ll be discovered in a way that enables you to hit the permanent big time.
It’s important you don’t rely on this strategy, because it’s putting all of you eggs in one risky basket.
And even if you think positive and get 5 minutes of fame on Oprah, or Ellen, or whatever show or magazine you’re hoping for exposure with, if you think about the percentage of people who get exposure that leads to very little permanent results afterwards, then chances of world-wide eternal fame are very slim.
But the good news is that, with your ego out of the way, you can have a truly amazing and fulfilling career and business without needing to be discovered.
What you need to do instead…
Okay, now that we know what not to be doing, I promised to share with you what you do need to be doing instead.
This blog series will teach you how to achieve your goals and create what matters to you.
I wrote it to help you focus on what’s truly important and set yourself (+ your goals) up for success. It can take quite a bit to digest, so you may want to make yourself a cup of tea and find yourself a comfy pozzy!
Let me know how you get on!
Serious about achieving your goals? Follow me here on Instagram
Big love to you + your success!
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